03.04.2021
Today is my 17th wedding anniversary and also 17th year in Mandibahaudin,Pakistan.Whoever say time flies or it was just yesterday might have different opinion. I feel these 17 years as decades or feel each day as a new journey, new procedure, new step. Sometimes a small successful one and at others slippery, topsy and turvey!!
Arshad was a complete stranger to me. Neither had I seen him before, nor had heard his name. He is nephew of our very close and dear uncle. My father’s coworker, class fellow and bossom friend. I have been brought up and lived my early life in UAE. For graduation I moved to Pakistan, after graduation I got an experience to work with a very big travel agency in Abu Dhabi. During my job, I got Arshad’s proposal. I wasn’t mentally prepared or expecting any thing like this as I was so eagerly involved in developing my professional career.
When my mother asked me if I was ready to accept the propsal, I don’t know why but I replied that it’s your wish mama.But it will be difficult for me to live in Mandibahaudin, a city unexpected for me or something not even in my wildest thoughts. She told me just one thing like mothers would do to have faith in Allah. She said she never knew she would spent her whole life in UAE, despite spending her childhood in a village in Pakistan.
I was burdened with thoughts of future and how will it all be managed. There was nothing in common between us. The proposal was expected. Arshad and I got married but the reception was decided after a year. After the marriage contract I went back with my parents to UAE to resign from my job and make preparations for settling in Mandibahaudin with Arshad.
The day came that was today i. e. Saturday 3rd April 2004 when I came to Mandibahaudin with Arshad. A new journey began. It was not a fairy tale life nor did I have any ideas about how was I going to cope with the strange faces, place and surroundings. The only people I knew was my uncle and his family.
It was smooth and cool in the beginning. As the famous saying goes :Marriage is not a bed of roses, it has many thorns in it as well.. So it’s absolutely right.
There were times which were hard to digest, resist or even carry on. Sometimes we were winners, at others lagers and still at times it felt like verge of the relation. Now I understand that all married couples go through same phases, sooner or later but they experience the sweet and bitterness of life together.
It’s my advice to give space to your spouse. When you give space you yourself set yourself free from unnecessary conflicts and worries. On the other hand the moment your spouse feels he or she’s been set free, he /she will run back to be your captive!!! Because we get so used to each other that we feel emptiness with out the other and we look forward to share or be with our spouse for spiritual bond that develops over a period of time and naturally.
Today I am celebrating my day writing this blog while Arshad is in Rawalpindi, doing I dont know what right now😄😄.
We wished each other over phone. That’s how life is. You learn to be happy on your own, learn to cherish things around you rather than yearning for that not within your reach. Your kids boost your spirits, you see them smile, make mistakes, throw tantrums, and most of all just their mere presence.
17 years in Mandibahaudin, Pakistan is definitely an era, a table Turner for me. I am not the same person I used to be. I cannot see my parents often or meet my brother or sisters frequently due to the distance between us now. Social media is the only platform for communicating and sharing my thoughts with all. When there is so much difference in cultures and backgrounds, you miss the beat, the frequency. Adjusting with a great amount of different perspective of people and area is indeed very challenging.
The punch line is when we mix with people or places of different mindsets, new ideas emerge. We get to share a lot good things and receive good vibes at the other end. If a person we meet is productive there is nothing more we can ask for. After all we all aim towards making this world a better place to live on not only for ourselves but for our generations as well.
Thank you Arshad for all that you have done for me, given me, comforted me when I used to cry, listened quietly to my yellings, laughed at my silliness and lastly making me feel my worth.
